YabYum – The Tantric Position of Fusion

When I started writing this blog article, it was clear to me that the complexity of the topic needed support, which I received from Ilka Stoedtner and someone who does not want to be mentioned by name. It may be that some things are only comprehensible if one has become acquainted with corresponding exercises. Feedback is of course welcome.

One of the tantric postures in Buddhist Tantra is called Yab Yum or “Father-Mother”. Since the arrival of Buddhism in Tibet in the 8th century by Padmasambava, tantric sexuality was part of Tibetan Buddhism. The name of the powerful yogic tantric practice of Karmamudra has been called “The Way of Skillful Means” (thab lam) and the “Way of Bliss of the Lower Gates” (oggo dechen lam; the lower gates are the lower chakras) and cultivates, refines sexual desire and lust in a non-dualistic way to eventually arrive at a Buddha-like state of emptiness. Taoism refers to them as yang and yin an. These two forces are effective everywhere in the world: light and dark, hot and cold, dry and wet. They are interconnected and strengthen each other. The yang force of the sky, descending from above, determines the structure of the lingam, the male sexual organ, while the yin force of the earth, flowing from below into the body, creates the form of the yoni, the female sexual organ. Ilka Stoedtner: Elemental teaching is quite a complex study. According to Chinese medicine, both yin and yang energy flow in every human being. Both currents are found in all organs and one can break them down more and more finely.

The yang force of heaven is dominant in man and the yin force of earth is dominant in woman.

Ilka Stoedtner: That is why men and women look different, but the same Qi flows in both, which can be differentiated into smaller and smaller units. The Yang force causes an outwardly penetrating form of the lingam, the cause of which is a genetic component, the Y chromosome is responsible. Yin/Yang energy always flows through both organs. While the Yin force is an inward receptive form for the Yoni. Thus, the forces of heaven and earth complement each other during sexual contact.

While in Hindu Tantra one usually sees Shiva and Shakti sitting side by side, the typical seated Yab-Yum forms belong to Buddhist Tantra. In Hindus, for example, one sees a Kali standing with both feet on the Shiva, or a Shakti whose throne is held by Shiva, Brahma, Indra and Vishnu, signifying a position of power of the feminine.

While in Hindu Tantra one usually sees Shiva and Shakti sitting side by side, the typical seated Yab-Yum forms belong to Buddhist Tantra. In Hindus, for example, one sees a Kali standing with both feet on the Shiva, or a Shakti whose throne is held by Shiva, Brahma, Indra and Vishnu, signifying a position of power of the feminine.

Samantabhadra and Samantahhadri

Samantabhadra is depicted in blue, like the infinite depth of space. Samantahhadri is white, like purity and empty consciousness beyond all concepts, conditions, object or subject.

Yab and Yum are considered inseparable in Buddhist Tantra and therefore symbolized in sexual union. It has nothing to do with the male/female role. When one meditates on a yab-yum form alone, the ordinary body disappears and out of the void one appears as a yab-yum form. Monks also meditate on these exercises and it does not necessarily have anything to do with sexual arousal. In Karmamudra practice, men can identify with the yab and women with the yum, but it is equally possible the other way around. Two men can practice Karmamudra with each other, or two women. The whole thing has nothing to do with physical sex or gender role.

Another aspect of Tantric Buddhism is the yoga of awakening the inner fire and the knowledge and control of the energy channels. This practice is in turn required for Karmamudra (Vajrayana Buddhism) in order to have the various experiences that are possible here. One generates in sexual union is, an upward movement of the breath while meditating on a particular mantra. This in turn generates sexual arousal, which one ignores as best one can and focuses on the nature of the mind. In the body, one goes through a transformative process of the energy channels (e.g. water dissolves in the earth element which first goes from top to bottom, then reverses and finally centers in the heart). At the end of this practice, one experiences unlimited inner vastness, which feels like looking at the endlessness of the sky and finding only endless space.

The obstacles to this are in the throat chakra the 3 emotions of ignorance, anger & hateful speech, in the heart the 40 different desires and in the navel the 7 different types of confusion. All of these emotions will more or less show up first.

In Tantric Buddhist paintings or statues depicting Shiva and Shakti in intimate embrace, the voluptuous Shakti usually sits astride her lover’s lap and entwines him like a plant, face blissfully upturned. This graphic motif suggests sexual love, which makes sense because for many people, sexual union is the only experience of oneness. When they lose themselves in the arms of their lover, they experience at least a semblance of ego-transcending consciousness….

Ilka Stoedtner: A union experience does not necessarily have to transform the EGO!

…of the tantric adept. Neo-tantrics try to imitate the divine couple,…

Ilka Stoedtner: Neo-tantrics do not sit in the yab yum all the time trying to attain transcendent consciousness. Nevertheless, the seeker finds the YabYum in Neo Tantra as ONE piece of the puzzle of a big picture.

…but forgetting that the union between Shiva and Shakti is not only sexual, but meditative, transcendental and therefore also asexual.

Ilka Stoedtner: One principle of the Tantra is union. This can take place directly sexually or also in the sense of a physical sensual union that takes place within a meditative experience.

The fruit of their union – and thus the tantric goal – is not physical orgasm, however overwhelming, but perpetual bliss, far beyond what the human nervous system is capable of producing.

Yab Yum borrows from the energetic gender polarity of man and woman as manifested in sexual union. The man sits with his legs crossed and the woman sits opposite him on his lap with her legs wrapped around his torso and lower back. Together they represent Shiva and Shakti, the complementary male and female energies.

Instructions: Sit together in the YabYum position. Your eyes can be closed while you continue to focus on the breath as the main point of connection.

Ilka Stoedtner: The basis for the connection is your posture. When both bodies are relaxed, the breath can flow naturally. That is the prerequisite for looking inward. If something pulls or pinches, then the attention goes there, which would be a shame and not the point. Safety first. – Like in the airplane, everyone pays attention first to himself – then to the other.

You notice the energy between you and if you know tantric breathing or movement exercises you can do them. Look into each other’s eyes and sink into them as long as possible without blinking.

Notice the quality of the energy. How does it feel? Where in your body do you feel it? Let it move freely as your bodies become more and more charged by the male/female magnetism. The feminine energy of the woman begins to rise, the body is the vessel, shushumna in the back, the energy channel for the life energy. The man’s role is to hold the space,

Ilka Stoedtner: In yab yum, the man holds the woman physically. For this, it is important that he can sit upright in a well relaxed position. Yoga practice is helpful in order not to lose oneself in effort. The same works just as well on a chair. The energy unfolds in both partners. Both can observe the mentioned energy flow and strengthen it through attention, visualization and breathing.

When the fourth chakra is reached by the rising energy, the energetic relationship to oneself and to the partner (and the rest of the world) changes qualitatively.

Ilka Stoedtner: Changes are the result of processes of consciousness and cognition. Everything else are energetic phenomena.

The male also makes his body a vessel and observes, breathes, gives trust, security and safety to the feminine, while allowing this energy to overwhelm her, carry her away and dissolve into waves of Bliss.

As this energy dances between you, you may notice that the veil of duality is thinning….

Ilka Stoedtner: Yes!

…and you can further support yourselves in this by asking yourselves when thoughts, feelings, images arise: Who thought this? Where does this thought, this feeling, these images come from?

Ilka Stoedtner: Or, by imagining the thoughts passing by like “clouds.”

Your egos, your ideas about who you are, your personalities, fade away.

Ilka Stoedtner: For me, personality doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with ego. That would need a longer explanation. If in the union the “idea” about who you are fades, then that is already a great happening.

There remains consciousness, vibration in the union of the divine masculine and feminine, a fractal embodiment of the universe.

Ilka Stoedtner: Here too many things are mentioned in one breath. That would be like when you get a new suitable partner next Christmas, as well as win a luxury apartment in Berlin, a Porsche stands as a gift in the garage and you are so successful in your work that you don’t go out of the house anymore because the fans shake hands and party at the garden fence. (Ingrid: Always bring it on! :D)

It’s the place where we really meet the “other”….

Ilka Stoedtner: At best – at least physically – and, it doesn’t have to be that way. Some encounters are only meant for one person. What is a rich, ecstatic, spiritual and heart-opening experience for one person, does not have to be so for the other. Sometimes the other person is like a precious link to a new experience. When both enter together, the experience is all the more breathtaking.

…and let ourselves get involved.

Ilka Stoedtner: see above.

This is the place where preconceptions begin to melt and transform, and we find within ourselves what we previously thought could only be found outside of us.

Ilka Stoedtner: As I said, if only one of these things would take place, it would already be great!

The one described before represents the neo-tantric experience, while in Buddhist Tantra Karmamudra is performed by two practitioners who have mastered the generation phase of a deity of Anuttara Tantra with visualization and mantra. This is obtained with a full fourfold initiation into a higher Buddhist tantra and the appropriate practice time. The practice here is supervised by a lineage holder over a long period of time. What happens next depends on the details of the particular tantra. The essential thing is that the partners get involved with each other, really open up to the other without attachment and control, and let themselves be involved to the point of temporary spiritual merging.

A little easier to practice is the so-called “secret offering”. In this, one dedicates all sexual activity to the deity. Ejaculation of the man does not occur here, not even in the Karmamudra. The six yogas of Naropa serve here as preparation, while the offering consists in drawing up the energy in the central channel.